Homework has a “four letter word” feeling to it most of the time. It’s always been there and it seems to never go away and sometimes I just wish I could get a free pass on turning in my homework. I have been thinking lately about how life is full of homework assignments, and we tend to choose which ones we want an “A” in. In school we usually didn’t have to do homework in the subjects we are good at, things just went smooth and we finished before it added up to have to take home. Then we all had those subjects that we just could not figure out in the alloted time we had at school under maximum instruction and guidance. Graduation of any kind sure doesn’t mean the end of the work.
As I separate parts of my life into which assignments I have left in my bag to the “I’ll get back to it” pile and the ones I make sure are taken care of right away, I have found that there is not one most important one. Letting any assignment get ignored will lead you to some kind of detention. In my role as Mother, if I even ignore one simple assignment in parenting my daughter, not only am I affecting her outcomes, but I make the work harder on myself for the next test. Parenting is a constant challenge and luckily we do start to get better at some of the subjects that are included in the job. I am in this class for the rest of my life and it’s my favorite one by far!
I am a list maker, this doesn’t mean that I get all the things on the list checked off in a timely manner. Maybe it’s a comfort thing, if I make a list it means I’m aware I need to do it. Well, list get lost and stuck in the same “do it later” pile. Having a constant awareness is exhausting but necessary! Ensuring that all areas in my life are equally visited in my daily homework session has become more difficult that any class I have taken. It’s easy to want to bail and go do the fun stuff, then you realize that even that has it’s work. I could run off to get a Crossfit WOD in any day and it would satisfy my “want to” but then after you get through the workout you realize…. sheees I haven’t been doing my homework. If you think that you can PR on a lift or snag the fastest time without putting in the time to dial in your technique and skill, you are going to do poorly on any of those test. Not saying that we need to ACE every test, but it sure feels nice every once in a while. So back to class on areas to improve my Olympic lifting, making myself do my daily Mobility WOD and preparing my body for the test I expect it to pass.
Identifying the necessary task to obtain a feeling of balance and forward stride means digging your heels in and doing the work. There are many times we think we are preparing ourselves for the next test in the ideal way and it’s a sure thing that it will go well. Then when the time comes to put pen to paper and show what you got…. you realized you were reading the text book from last year when you failed the course. When we realize that we didn’t take the ideal steps to prepare a reevaluation time is necessary. I have had to restart many of my paths lately due to realizing what I was doing was indeed not preparing me for where I needed to go. It was time to realize that just because it went bad before, didn’t mean it had to be that way this time. I am in an entirely different classroom this time with entirely different people. When you have people around you with the same goals, it’s easier to do the work.
One of the biggest lessons I have learned over the last year has been to slow down. It’s funny how I can teach new nurses the need to slow down so they don’t make mistakes or to allow them to see the big picture, but I have a very hard time making myself do this. I have seen how it can make things brighter and much more manageable when you accept the tortoise approach. When you do the work, you learn a lot about yourself. You can see the areas that you let go and allow to be pushed aside and the areas that took over when they should have been equally weighed.
I wish I could finish with the note HOMEWORK IS DONE, but I don’t think I want to ever think that it is DONE. If I do that then that means I am not willing to do the necessary, difficult work to make my life the best it can be. I also know that I can’t figure this assignment out on my own. If I had all the answers then I’d make the test. I still seek others to help me learn and grow. I count on them. We count on teachers, professors, coaches, mentors, family, partners and friends to help us learn what makes each life lesson what it is for our lives. Even though we might have to retake the same life lesson test, we don’t always get the same grade.