Sitting on the edge. To some it’s all nerves, to others it is a place of comfort. I take a deep breath as I look at this picture and realize I am comfortable looking over the edge at the new things that I am blessed with in my life. Maybe because I have more balance or maybe because I have a better scale.
I was blessed to go on vacation to beautiful Mexico recently and experience some temporary sanity. I think my jaw is still on the floor of the patio outside our room from the amazing views and accommodations. It’s always hard to leave my baby girl at home when I go away, even if for a short while. But this time it was all about BALANCE and just taking a breather.
As I remember sitting on the edge of the pool looking out over the ocean and hearing the waves crash beneath me, I was quiet. I checked in with myself… Mekenzie is safe at home with family, my heart is calm in knowing that. I am right where I want to be. It’s easy to say it’s perfect balance when you are looking over the ocean and the sun is shining all day. I’m not saying I don’t need to keep working and tackle many more obstacles, but I am happy. And happy hasn’t been in my life outside of being a Mommy in a long time.
I can sit and list the things that throw me off my rocker and get me whipping like a kite tail out of control until the wind finally dies and I come crashing down. That is the easy part. What I needed to do was make that same list of what keeps me at an even glide. I was thinking about all the times I hear people say ” UH…. I need a vacation!”. What is it that we need to get away from? Work, daily household chores, the unforgiving work schedules, bickering kiddos??? Do we ever really get away from it? I know I walked back into my house with a load of laundry that didn’t care if I was sunning myself for a few days. We I guess just stepping away from the vice of the moment is what really helps.
I use that more than I realize. If I’m working in the ICU, I often need to step back and look at the big picture, it allows me to see what would ultimately help my patient the most. When I’m Coaching CrossFit, I find myself on the perimeter of the class scanning for technique issues, fatigue setting in or those athletes that just want to finish the WOD. Looking from afar and dialing into what motivates each athlete to push a little harder, tweek their form or boost their confidence . As a Mom, I have to step back more than I would like. I sometimes have to let lessons be learned the hard way, but I also get to watch amazing changes happen before my eyes!
So stepping away is GOOD! We all learn the hard way on a daily basis, how about stepping back and telling yourself it is ok to WATCH! You will grow and you will take more away from that experience of quiet and calm than you could during any chaotic moment of the day.
Learning to SLOW DOWN, now there’s a concept. Fortunately, I have found a wonderful teacher for this life lesson, and I have realized levels of self confidence that I didn’t think exsisted! Hard-headed is probably an understatement for a description of me, and in this case it took me a few times to realize that it really is in my best interest to let go. I think once I have done it 20 or so times I will be proficient and not feel like I have to be running around like a rabbit. It truly is revealing when you step out of the box, step out of your comfort zone. Do you even know what that feels like? Why would you? Leaving anything we “know” is uncomfortable….so you would think. When we were babies we didn’t know how to walk, but are you still crawling? Nope, we seek out things that bring us a bigger reward and sometimes we get a little bruised along the way. As adults we get stuck in that comfort zone with the fear of those bruises. One can make a conscious decision to change and step out of their personal box. Others are forced out due to lack of the ability to control all of our surroundings, events and people in our box. The best is when we are taken by the hand and gently encouraged to test other options.
I have been through all three of those over the last 2 years. I learned that I can not control other people, events, or my surroundings no matter how hard I try. You can control YOU and how you react to those elements. I also have made a conscious decision to make changes in my life that ultimately bring happiness “my reward” for my daughter and I. Finally, being gently lead and encouraged. Who doesn’t like encouragement? What I found was that by stepping out of my comfort zone and changing myself rather than trying to change the system….. the system ultimately shifts back to making it all work. Life will surprise you if you let it. Surprises usually mean the unknown and that is a scary place. Seek out some Temporary Sanity…. SLOW DOWN….. STEP BACK….. TAKE A VACATION!
*would you like Spinach or Bacon with that?
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For all you CrossFitters out there, here is a little note from Andy Petranek that will get ya’ moving! I know it will be easy to take with you into your next WOD, but I encourage you to take this “GO FOR IT” attitude and step out of your comfort zone. It might mean literally in a WOD, or finding something in your everyday that you struggle with and put the same 100% into it. The results can only be amazing!
Shannon Isbell 